THE GOLDEN VERSES: Step 5

Friendship as Guidance

In this fifth step of the Golden Verses we encounter the important role that friendship has to play upon our spiritual path: how to identify who is a friend, how we maintain friendship against the odds, and a glimpse of our kinship with the stars. Now that we have all the pillars to support our temple, we can proceed, knowing that we have both immortal and mortal companions on the road with us so that, whatever else happens along the way, we do not walk alone.

• STEP 5

  Above all others, take as friend whoever excels in virtue.

Give heed to your friend’s gentle words

and benefit from your friend’s actions.

As far as you can, do not hate your friend for a trivial fault;

For ability is the near neighbour of necessity. *

PARTNERS ON THE PATH

In every walk of life, we need a friend who can encourage and witness to us as we are - for all our faults, and through all our troubles. I always feel that a good friend is able to say to us, when we are ourselves are not so prescient or far-sighted: ‘I will be your fruitful eyes, beyond hope.’ (The Iliad, Book 10, Line 324.)

When we are seeking formation within any tradition, we look first for the path which best suits us, and then we take our first steps along that path. For many, just finding the right path that will uphold and feed your soul is quite a job by itself. But, as everyone knows, as soon as you step upon a path of any spiritual discipline, it can become very lonely and discouraging unless you have a friend who is walking beside you companionably. While you will certainly run into a lot of people going in the same general direction as yourself, you will not necessarily find one that is very well attuned to you at the same time: some will be irritating in their attention to the minutiae of a tradition – sometimes to the point of exasperation - while others are clearly dilettantes who like to immerse their toes only and never get their bodies or soul wet enough to be dedicated.

If you trawl through social media you will find that a lot of people like this whose only ‘friends’ seem to be those who are notable in their field, people who stand out from the crowd, but who are certainly not close personal friends. No, it is not by the great number of such notable friends that you will get on in any tradition! As when you go on a long and perhaps dangerous expedition or hike, you really want to have someone who is equipped for the long term, someone who has resources and stamina, as well as experience, someone who has time for you.

You are really looking for a partner on the path who helps you keep going: someone who is a friend on whom you can depend, without fear or favour. As Hierocles puts it:

‘For it is for our mutual good that the law of friendship binds us together, so that our friends may assist us in the increase of virtue and that we may reciprocally assist them in their improvement. For, as fellow-travellers in the way that leads to a better life, we ought, for our common advantage, to impart to them the good things that we may have discovered before they did.’ (GV, VII, 1)

It was a Pythagorean custom for a close friend to help another to uplift the mutual good of the community, prompting, encouraging and sometimes pointing out where things were not going so well. ‘Corrections and admonitions were called “right turnings”, which they thought ought to be delivered with much caution and respect by elders to their youngers, and always with great care and fellowship, so that the corrections were both kind and beneficial.’ (Iamblichus VP 22, 102.) For Pythagoreans, these corrections were thought us ‘retunings’, helping friends come into balance.

The very last thing anyone wants is constant fault-finding, of course. But everyone who learns a craft or skill knows that they need one who knows that craft to point out things which the less experienced are missing. As SImplicius says, ‘the soul needs someone who has already seen the truth. Through a voice brought forth from inner understanding, the one who has seen the truth can stir into motion in the soul the intuitive insight (or nous) which up until then had been dormant and frozen in the soul.’ Just so, the musical teacher brings the musical learner of the violin to practice with their instrument over and over, correcting their technique, until harmonious music emerges from the instrument, rather than the fractious sawing or scraping of a bow over the strings!

Good teachers are always friends to their pupils, which is what Pythagoras asked his followers to call him and each other: ‘friend.’ This pattern seems to have had a most extraordinary effect upon his followers who felt they were in the presence of something very different – not a false charisma that made Pythagoras strangely attractive, but rather the embodied presence of the divine. Because Pythagoras was in tune with the cosmos, people were aware of this both while awake in his presence, and also in their dreams. This has to do with the reflection that is felt in the presence of anyone who is grounded within themselves, and awake at a level of soul, so that we are aware of the greater universal qualities and paradigms. When we are with such a person, the whole cosmos becomes a larger place for us.

UPKEEPING OUR FRIENDSHIP AND WHAT TO DO WHEN IT FAILS

Being there for a friend when they are in need surely stands in the front rank of friendship. But we are not always entirely clear of what friendship consists, since we can often misplace its true likeness. and confuse it with something else. For example, we cannot make close friends of people from whom we seek to profit, for example, nor with people of power and influence over whose bodies we intend to climb to our own glory. While we may know people who are ‘good connectors’ in life, and those whose services we need because of their expertise, they are rarely the kind of friend that the Golden Verses are writing about here. Nor are we looking for a fair-weather friend who stays during the good times, but who is never to be found when troubles come upon us.

True reciprocation is the test of ordinary friendships. And while not everyone we regard as a friend is in the same state of health or good fortune as ourselves, we do not expect a friendship to be totally one-sided. If a friendship is all about one person’s giving and another’s receiving, then we might question whether friendship is the right term for it, especially when this becomes an engrained or habitual one-way street.

We are looking for a special friend who will stay constant, regardless of whatever happens. It has been generally understood over centuries that the initiates of a mystery tradition, regardless of their personal preferences or background, will not only recognize initiates of their tradition unknown to them – but even those from other traditions – as brothers and sisters. This was radically true among the Pythagoreans whose small communities were often sited at some distance from each other, scattered about the Mediterranean states and islands, as the following passage makes clear.

‘It is said that even when they did not know one another, the Pythagoreans tried to do friendly deeds on behalf of those they had never seen before whenever they received some sure sign that they shared the same doctrines. It is from such deeds that saying is worthy of belief that “good people even dwelling in earth’s farthest parts are friends to one another even before they become acquainted and conversant.” ‘

At any rate, Iamblichus reports that ‘a certain Pythagorean arrived at an inn after walking a long and lonely road. Whether because of fatigue or another reason, he was afflicted by a persistent and grievous illness which lasted until all his provisions were gone. The innkeeper out of pity for the man hospitably provided everything, sparing neither any service nor expense when the illness proved overwhelming. The dying man wrote a symbol on a writing tablet and ordered that if he should die, the innkeeper should hang this writing tablet beside the road and see if anyone passing by would recognise the symbol, for whoever this might be, he said that one would repay the expenses which the innkeeper had incurred and return thanks on his own behalf.

After his guest’s death, the innkeeper attended to and buried his body. Without hope of recovering his expenses, and even less of receiving any recompense, from someone recognising the writing tablet, he nevertheless, made the attempt; although astonished at these orders, he set the tablet out every day in a central place. A long time after the innkeeper began doing this, a Pythagorean passing by stopped and asked who had placed the symbol there? He then enquired into what had happened and paid the innkeeper much more than his expenses’. (Iamblichus: VP 33, 237-8.)

There are many such stories that speak of fellow Pythagoreans going out of their way to help those who were struggling with difficult circumstances. Now, all of this sounds very cosy, but we also know that friendships do not always run their course without some difficulty. The last two lines of this step are particularly relevant to us:

‘As far as you can, do not hate your friend for a trivial fault; For ability is the near neighbour of necessity.’

What does this mean, exactly? Hierocles tells us ‘Let us bear with our friends in all things, being bound to them with the strictest of all bonds, the sacred tie of friendship.’ We are urged not to take offence at small infractions or times when we feel less upheld by our friend. Indeed, the only time we may separate from a friend is if they decline into behaviour that puts them on the other side of the tracks from ourselves, in which case we should still ‘try our upmost to reclaim our friend and bring them back into the right road again.’ (GV VII, 2)

Even after we make a necessary separation, we are reminded, ‘we must take care not to worsen this separation by changing friendship into hatred.’ Nor can we ‘rejoice at the fall of our friend, nor insult the friend because of their lack of good judgement.’ (GV,VII, 6). Two people in my own life have taken themselves off – of the first one, I do not know if she is living or dead, since she disappeared twenty years ago, having turned her back on many friends all at once: extensive searches have been made for her, and we do not to this day where, if anywhere, she might be, for I had to report her as a missing person. The other removed himself from my life in the last two years with painful acrimony. These events are still most distressing to me, and I experience deep sorrow every day because of them. But I know that, regardless of any rights and wrongs, that I must - out of friendship - keep the door open to their return. I know too that my sense of each friend has to be maintained – that I have to see each as a person of soul, purpose, and virtue, as someone who is walking a difficult path. I understand that I must not mix up their essence with the troubles they have had or are having, nor resent and brood upon any cruel words or actions. It is from doing such things that we can easily and unconsciously categorize our friend as a kind of zombie person, and that is an abomination to their souls or to their memory.

We each know people, once very close to us, whose misfortunes or behaviour have led them down a terrible road, or whose health or state of mind has declined until they are barely identifiable to us, but our role as their friends is still to observe them as they are in their essence, in their innocent soul, so that the light of friendship may still shine upon them, so that someone in the world is glad that they were born, and keeps a warm place in their hearts for them. This is the meaning of the phrase ‘as far as you can.’ Never leave a friend in the darkness!

Ananke and Phanes icon by Caitlín

As for ‘ability being a near neighbour to necessity:’ when we read the next part we have to remember that Necessity is a goddess in the ancient world, the goddess Ananke, who confronts us with that which we must deal with and submit to at a moment of need or exingincy. We are told that, ‘Necessity proves that every person can do more than they thought they were able to. And so, we must be willing to suffer as much from our friends as Necessity shows us we are capable of, and to render bearable a situation that, at the moment, appears unbearable, because of the necessity of friendship… We should consider that whatever tends to the safekeeping of friends and their recall is all the more worthy of greater endurance as it is imposed upon us by divine Necessity…’ But we are also promised that this ability, ‘comes to you from the divine laws, and you will discover the measure of ability available to you.’ (GV VII,7-8). We are never left without any resource at all. Like the very last squeeze of a tube, there is still something left inside.

I know this to be true, for Necessity is a goddess who has found me at every twilight, going to bed, rising at dawn and every midday, remembering those who walked away from me. They are one of the main reasons that I started along the pathof the Golden Verses, because I could not endure to let those friends be without hope or help. If there is any light and hope in these posts, then whoever receives that light may one day touch the life of my lost friends, among many others, and shine that light upon them. I may not be the one to rescue them from unhappiness, or receive them back through my door, but others will come and give that welcome, just as the dying Pythagorean had his debts settled by an unknown friend many months after his death. So may it be for them!

It is the measure of our humanity that we can sustain friendship not only to those special friends who understand our heart, but to all humanity: ‘If we love humanity we consider not even the bad person an enemy, but when we seek a virtuous person for for a friend then we choose the good from among all, imitating good even in the measures of friendship - since the divine hates no one but has a special affection to the good in people. Extending the goodness of human kindness to all in common, the gods deem everyone worthy of their proper share… in like manner, it is necessary to have a friendship for all beings…perhaps not for all in the same degree … but we should observe and practice moderation and justice with all, not only with the just and the moderate, nor may we be good with the good and wicked with the wicked, for we ourselves should not have any good if we would call our own to extend and dispense to all.’ (GV. VII,12-13)

As we extend our view of friendship, it is good that we spread the mantle wider and see how we are all included in a much bigger belonging.

OUR KINDRED STAR

From the beginning of time, human beings have believed that they have a likeness to the stars. The Greeks have two myths concerning this belief: the Orphic and the Platonic myth. In the oldest of the two, the Orphic myth tells us how Zagreus (another name for the god, Dionysus) the son of Zeus and Persephone, was attacked and dismembered by the Titans who cooked and ate him completely, except for his heart which was saved by Athena. Dionysus was incubated by Zeus, and finally reborn. But Zeus sent his thunderbolt which rendered the Titans into ashes. From these ashes, human beings derive – thus giving us the godlike qualities of Zagreus/Dionysus and the unreformed instincts of Titans.

In the Orphic myth, humans have these two different natures within them. But because they believed parts of Dionysus were within them, the Orphics regarded suicide as forbidden, lest they kill the god inside them. This may be the derivation of the Pythagorean saying, ‘Do not tear the god in you apart,’ which was said when someone was getting themselves into a state of fear, panic or despair. As Iamblichus remarks, picking up on the importance of this myth and saying in relationship to friendship:

‘For they often encouraged one another “not to disperse the God within themselves.” At any rate, all their zeal for friendship, both in words and deeds, aimed at some kind of mingling and union with God, and at communion with intellect, and with the divine soul. For no one could find anything better, either in words spoken or in ways of the life practised than this kind of friendship. I think that all the goods of friendship are embraced by it.’ (Iamblichus VP 33, 240)

The nature of the intensity and faithfulness of Pythagorean friendship was thus not based merely upon human affection for people of your own belief and custom, but a deep devotion to the unity of all beings, and a way of training each of us to behave towards one another as the divine behaves towards ourselves. There is also another factor in this myth: Zeus had intended that Dionysus/Zagreus should be his appointed successor in the long precession of the gods, that stretches back into primordial time and dimension. The implications of this myth are simply, that human beings are also essential to the completion of the universe.

Of course, there are other and later alternatives to the Orphic myth, where some of the Titans help the Olympian gods, while others are confined or punished. But we should also mention the Platonic myth, for it gives us another view of our relationship with the stars. In Plato’s Timaeus, after the Gods were made by the Demiurge or creator, the Gods were commanded to mix together the ingredients for human beings in the crater or mixing bowl, because, had the creating Demiurge made human beings, they would have been equal to the Gods from the outset. The Demiurge (who is the agent and actor of the One that is unknowable) said that they should make three kinds of mortal, himself supplying souls to the same number as there were stars, one of which would be inserted into each mortal:

‘When, by virtue of Necessity, they should be implanted in bodies, with their bodies being subject to influx and efflux, then these results would necessarily follow: firstly, sensation that is innate and common to all, proceeding from violent affections; secondly, desire mingled with pleasure and pain; and besides these, fear and anger and all such emotions as are naturally allied with them, and all such as are of a different and opposite character. And if they shall master these they will live justly, but if they are mastered, unjustly. But whoever that has lived their appointed time well shall return again to their abode in their native star, and shall gain a life that is blessed and congenial.’ (Plato: Timaeus 42a)

We shall be taking up what we do about these sensations, desires, fears and other emotions in the unfolding of the Golden Verses. But now let us consider our starry part! The sense of our guiding or kindred star that is within us performs the same function as the mingled dust of the Titans with Dionysus in the Orphic myth. We are of one nature with that which is immortal and yet we still have to overcome the instincts and desires of the Titans.

Scientist, philosophers and magicians alike agree that there is something about each of us which is astral. When Carl Sagan stated on his 1980 tv series, Cosmos that, ‘the cosmos is within us. We are made of star stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself,’ he was only saying what had been widely believed for over 25 millennia. Science has finally agreed with this assessment, proving that the atoms in our bodies do indeed derive from the material of stars that have gone supernova. It is always satisfactory when a myth is underlined and confirmed by science! But our mythic understanding of the cosmos has always been within us, it would appear.

Following this same concept, the British magician, Aleister Crowley, who deeply studied the Egyptian mystery tradition asserted, ‘Every man and every woman is a star.’ It was the ambition of all Egyptians that their soul should, after terrestrial life, become an akt, or a shining star. As my dear friend, Ian Rees observes, ‘when we recall that it is our nature to be a generative star and allow the expression of the union of love and will in each moment, all complexity falls away… and we are still until we are moved, centred in the singularity at our heart that opens us to the infinite field of stars.’ (Ian Rees The Way of Deep Magick p.135-6).

Becoming a Shining Star ..

The heart of Dionysus that was rescued by Athena from the feasting of the Titans has never left us: it beats within us still, it is the rhythm of our life’s dancing and the inspiration that leads to our return to our true nature.

§ Consider: §

· Who is the friend who understands you best: in whose care is your soul safely companioned?

· If you lack such a human companion upon your spiritual path, to what and whom do you go to receive the wisdom and advice that guide you in times of fear and uncertainty? (These might be writers, path-keepers, places, poetry etc.)

· Which of your friendships remain challenging, which have gone super-nova? Present these friends or ex-friends to the gods, as those in need of guidance; ask your daimon to speak to the daimon of the friend that the support they need might come to be with them.

· Meditate upon your guiding star, or the starry nature that is part of you. Go out on a starry night and commune with the star that is yours.

MEDITATION

Just how much of a friend a friend can be is revealed in this challenging episode which took place during the time when the tyrant Dionysius of Sicily lost his kingship and came to live in Corinth. After many failed attempts to woo Pythagoreans and uncover the secret of their philosophical life, Dionysius and his cronies began to stigmatize and mock two particular Pythagorean friends, Phintias and Damon, whose friendship notably stood out beyond the standard of even faithful Pythagorean friendships.

Phintias & Damona..

Dionysius summoned Phintias to him, falsely accusing him of plotting against him. Phintias was astonished, but Dionysius declared that the case against him had been proven by the testimony of witnesses. As a result of this, it had been judged that Phintia must die that very day.

Phintias then asked leave to settle his affairs and those of his companion, Damon, for they lived together and shared all things. Phintias, being the elder of the two, after Pythagorean custom, had taken responsibility for the entire management of the household. He asked if Damon might come and act as security for him, while he himself was released to settle his affairs in the few hours remaining of his life. Dionysius could barely contain his mockery, asking what kind of person would be prepared to become security for a certain death sentence?

So, Damon was duly sent for, readily agreeing to remain security for his friend, while Phintias settled all his business, to everyone’s disbelief. As the day wore on, Dionysius mockingly remarked that Damon had been offered as a ‘substitute stag’, a sacrifice to be executed in the event of his friend’s non-return, but Damon maintained his composure. At sunset, Phintias returned as promised, stating his willingness to die. Everyone was astounded. A subdued and impressed Dionysius embraced both men, asking to be received as a third into their extraordinary friendship. But despite his persistence, the two friends declined and took themselves away.

This story was related by Dionysius of Sicily himself to the 4^th century BCE philosopher Aristoxenus, a disciple of Aristotle, and we have no reason to deny this story since it was told against himself by the very tyrant who had made this extreme test of Pythagorean friendship. (Iamblichus VP33, 235-6)

§ Under The Tholos

We finish this first part of the Golden Verses course as we began it, under the tholos

Ruins of a Tholos at Leptis Magna.

In part one of this course, we have been focussing upon the order of beings. As Hierocles says, ‘Humans are the last class of rational natures while the Immortal Gods are the first.’ But when we consider each of the beings that stand under the tholos with us, - the immortal beings: gods, heroes and daimons who provide the pillars of support for our existence, as well as the mortal beings - parents, ancestors, kinsfolk and friends who each make companion pillars, we each stand under the canopy of the tholos and glimpse our immortal kinship with all beings. (GV VI,2.)

Look over steps 1-5, considering all that you have understood and realised. Meditate upon a tholos of many pillars, be aware of it as being made up of the order of beings – the immortal gods, the Oath, the heroes, daimons, parents, ancestors, kindred and friends. What happens when you join the tholos of pillars? What follows when you look up and see the stars that shine upon you all?

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Thank you for coming thus far with me. From this week, I have opened the Substack Chat so that anyone following this course can find friends and companions upon their way. It is wonderful to be able to study this Pythagorean way of life with you. Next time, we will be opening up Part 2, Living By the Cardinal Virtues.